Wednesday, October 18, 2006

I was served with a Statement of Defense and Counterclaim today


Statistically speaking, about 50% of readers will know what that means. For the lucky 50% who don't, I was served with the first papers the lawyers need to file to start divorce proceedings. One year, less a day, from October 19, 2005 - a day I will always remember.

Like April 3, 1993. And May 23, 1996.

In this order: the day Bill moved out, the day Bill and I were officially married, the day our son was born.

One year ago today, I posted my last blog entry for several months. It said simply,

Signing off for awhile

Had a blast. Learned a lot. Met so many great people.

Life changes compel me to put the blogging aside for now. Had my own rose-colored glasses shattered. Time to regroup.

Hope to be back at this sometime soon...

Adieu.

So, what’s life like “one year later”?

Damn fine, thank you very much.

Hurt has been replaced by hope. Fear by confidence. Disinterest by curiosity. And anger by gratitude.

One year ago I lived in a house that I love, in a community that I love. Thanks to the miracle of the “equity mortgage,” I still live in the same house. And now all the renos I’ve dreamt of doing for the past several years are underway (nothing complete, but lots of in-progress projects ... anyone want to volunteer to help me paint?! Or change three bathroom faucets?).

One year ago I was working to fill-in my partner’s income with money that was great to have, but not essential. Today my income is critical and, since I need to earn twice as much as I ever have, and since I can’t imagine myself working in a “real” full-time office job, I raised my self-employed billable rate by 33% in an effort to make ends meet. And now I have more and more fun work than ever. Crazy how that works!

One year ago I hated red wine. Today I love it. All but cabernet sauvignon, which, I realize, must have been the wine that Bill typically bought. I assumed all red wine made my mouth tingle and my throat constrict... until I met a man who drinks shiraz. Imagine my delight to find that I have a third option when neither scotch nor beer appeals to my pallet or to the social situation.

One year ago I had two bad cats. Today, I have three... three bad cats (wah-hah-hah-hah!). The third bad cat being the former bad cat of the shiraz-drinking man I must call “Beefcake” (I’m told by a very smart friend who works in communications for international health agencies that a 47-year old man cannot be called a “boyfriend,” rather, he should be called, “Beefcake”… and, well, if the shoe fits…) who was going to move from Toronto to Vancouver this autumn and then changed his mind… I shipped his snowboard gear and winter work boots back to him, but he said I could keep his cat and the cordless drill... I am blessed!

One year ago, if “Beefcake” were arriving in four days for a five-day visit, I would have been in big trouble – morally and matrimonially. Thankfully, I did not know him a year ago so I did not have the dilemma, and today I can anticipate the visit with nothing more than … anticipation!

This year I added a fourth day to my list of unforgettable dates: March 29, 2006… the day of the walk to “the rock” during tide-out… a day that waves of hope, confidence, curiosity and gratitude washed over and through me – waves that have continued to (ebb and) flow freely ever since.

October 18… amazing the difference a year can make.

FILYR

1 Comments:

Blogger G. said...

Lovely entry, thank you for sharing.

G.

October 19, 2006  

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